There´s no Love like Dog Love-but Cats are pretty nice too
how living with dogs and cats in the Serbian hills has healed me emotionally
I have always loved animals, dogs and cats especially. As a child we had pets at home, but mainly cats. Lots of of cats actually. But my biggest wish, to own a dog, was never fulfilled by my mother. Why? She did not like dogs, and was kind of selfish about it. We lived in a house that was like a huge homestead that was also a farm, so there was plenty of space. Everyone in my family was into cats. We had them in large numbers, but given the amount of mice, it was neccesary. As a todler I once found new born kittens in the forget-me-not patch in the yard. My grandma, who was not eager to give me an education on sexual reproduction at that time, told me that “cats are born in forget-me-not flower patches”. For years I was searching the patches for new kittens . Until it dawned on me that grown-ups are not honest.
My mother was a liar too, as I found out soon. Not only was she dressing up sloppily and carelessly as Santa Claus (I recognized her shoes!) to destroy my Santa illusion already at 5 years old (I immediately told my brother that Santa Claus is one of the many grown up lies-he was 2 years old at this point, poor thing, it must have traumatized him) she also broke my heart with my first dog love, a puppy by the name of Puck. I was 6–7 years old at that point. They had given me this doggy that in my memory looked like a little beagle, and it was not only my first dog love, but also my first love in general. Already able to write, I was filling my notebook with love poems I had written for Puck. “Puck and I” was a romance. I have to admit, that I felt more for Puck than for anyone in the family. Including my beautiful film star like auntie Irene, my family favorite. My dog romance went on for a few weeks, until one morning my mother had declared to me that “Puck has ran away and was nowhere to be found”. I was devastated and for weeks I was searching the neighborhood and hoping for my beloved dog to return. I cried many bitter tears. One day, around 3 months later I had discovered a dog in the extended neighborhood that looked very much like my puppy, only that he had grown quite a bit. I don’t remember exactly how that drama with my mother went down, but after I told her that I had found Puck, she had admitted that she had given him away, as she “doesn`t like dogs”. I am pretty sure, that this disappointment and betrayal was the main reason for me never trusting her again and never allowing her to get close to me. I mean how can someone do this to his child? How can someone not like dogs? It’s beyond me. Later, in my grown up age, she did a lot of shady things, that have confirmed, that she was not to be trusted. We actually never worked it out with each other. She died before we got to heal our relationship. I really loved my mother still, she was a young soul, often childish and stubbornly destructive. I felt like the “grown up” in this relationship was actually me, and post mortem I have forgiven her for everything. I´m okay and in peace with her now. But back to the dogs. Later, in my early 20ies I had two short episodes with dog ownership that did not go well. One dog, a German wire-haired pointer of 14 years, I had kidnapped from his vile owner, after watching for many weeks, how this beautiful dog was treated with cruelty. I had cut through the dirty old short string, Nicky was tied down on a pole with, and he just followed me cheerfully. Nicky and I had an amazing summer, he felt and behaved like a happy puppy again. But he had cancer already and he didn’t survive for long. Many a year went by, I was travelling the world. When I was not travelling I was always hoping to get away soon. Having a dog would have bound me to the spot, and I was not ready to have a pet that I would have to leave back when I was going on my travel adventures. A rare moment of closeness. They don’t get along too well, because the tom cat is very bossy and territorial.
Now I´m in Serbia in the rural hills in a remote forest house. Besides the 3 outdoor-living St Bernardians I´m looking after, there is a white Maltese dog living in the house. Also two young cats, brother and sister. The dog’s name is Billy and he is a little love machine. Dogs in general are known for their unconditional love and devotion, but Billy is all this ten times over. The amount of love I am getting from this white fur bundle is out of this world. Sometimes even too much, I’m overwhelmed. Billy wants to sit on my lap all day long and when I’m trying to watch a movie on my tablet, he would push his cute little face in front of the screen so I would look into his loving eyes instead of watching the movie. Or he is fighting with the cat about who would lie on my chest while I’m in bed. The cats are really relaxed and cool and they do have a sense of who needs their help. One night, I was very ill, both of them were lying on me and purring for hours. Cat purring is a very healing energy. It seams like Billy and the cats are trying to make up for all the missed dog love and cat love in all those years. Or love in general. I´m taking it all in and loving them back with all my heart.
Now I´m in Serbia in the rural hills in a remote forest house. Besides the 3 outdoors living St Bernardians I´m looking after, there is a white Maltese dog living in the house. Also two young cats, brother and sister. The dogs name is Billy and he is a little love machine. Dogs in general are known for their unconditional love and devotion, but Billy is all this ten times. The amount of love I am getting from this white fur bundle is out of this world. Sometimes even too much, I´m overwhelmed. Billy wants to sit on my lap all day long and when I´m trying to watch a movie on my tablet, he would push his cute little face in front of the screen so I would look into his loving eyes instead of watching the movie. Or he is fighting with the cat about who would lie on my chest when I´m in bed. The cats are really relaxed and cool and they do have a sense of who needs their help. One night, I was very ill, both of them were lying on me and purring for hours. Cat purring is a very healing energy. It seams like Billy and the cats are trying to make up for all the missed dog love and cat love in all those years. Or love in general. I´m taking it all in and loving them back with all my heart.
