The healing of the aching Heart
How was the super loaded emotional Cancer full moon for you guys?
The energy is still lingering on and will stay for the rest of the day and tomorrow. Many tears have flown globally I guess, a lot of emotional drama has unfolded itself in private and officially.
My host in Venice, the “stepmother” and her favorite, the “ogress” got very drunk and were screaming around like crazy bitches. I felt like in Hocus Pocus. These women have been mean to me for unknown reasons and they have giving me the feeling of being “outside”. I am stoic, but inside it hurts.
Their last nights excess ended with a lot of OUCH and glass break on their end.
I spent the evening in my room creating art though, not feeling great but it was the best I could do.
Today is my last day in Venice and I need to pack and get ready for my next trip.
My big emotional breakdown was the day before the full moon, as I’m always a bit early, and when the actual celestial event happens I’m through with my topics and realizations.
It was about all the pain I’m carrying for having been dealing with loveless and mean people all my life, especially back in Berlin and in my family in the last years. The pain of not having real connections. Spending weeks with these loveless and cold hearted, mean people here in Venice was a culmination of my past and an eye opener. This human experience here was summing it all up for me.
Pulling myself together and shielding was my survival strategy. My heart got opened by the unconditional love of the dogs I took care of. Those lovely creatures that are here to teach us unconditional love and loyalty. Once my heart was open, I could feel the sharp pain I was trying to shield myself from since a long time. The very reason for my numbness and emotinal eating. Here in Venice these techniques were at an alarming high.
I really understand why people shut themselves down. But it’s not a good way to live this way still. It`s like living reduced in quarantine and without our full potential. It’s a crying shame that in this universe, that’s made and held together by love energy, humans have, give, perceive and feel so little of love! As if love was something embarrassing to avoid at any cost. Humans are emotional invalids trying to survive in a toxic atmosphere on every level and to hide their many short comings by projecting them to other’s, thus creating more misery for the rest of us. Some are so dead inside that they are not even aware of missing something. And I’m not talking of romantic love here. I’m talking about a general human love from every being to the other. The stuff that makes humanity truly humane and worth while. The real LOVE MAGIC that heals, mends and creates.
This Cancer full moon has ripped off the curtain of the coolness “I could care less“ crust and laid open aching bleeding hearts that long for healing and connection and caring. At least if one has a heart still, it will be feeling the lack and pain of the absence of love.
We humans need to level up from emotional cripples to emotinally intelligent mature beings. And to the fact that a “I love you” doesn’t mean “I have opened the door for you to abuse me and to make a fool out of myself …and for sex” but:
“I acknowledge and admire the beautiful wonder that you are and I mirror myself in your magical presence”.
How life and world changing would that be if we could do this?
