Living and Eating among Strangers and Foreigners
Since I am on my #Workaway journey, that has started exactly on October 21st 2022, I have been in living in 4 different homes in other countries, my own hometown being Berlin, Germany.
I would never want to miss the experiences, though there has been bad days where I was crying, where I wanted to run away, where there has been abuse of various kind and I felt like shit. But also there has been a lot of transformation, amazement, new blooming friendships, positive surprises, great sunny days, love of animals and finally also from people, and overall a lot of learning, integrating new skills and being surprised by myself in terms of what I am capable of. It was all worth it.
Nothing is worse then sitting at home is seclude security, avoiding unpleasant encounters, avoiding unusual challenges and living in peace all by myself. I mean I´have done it for years by being a working from home illustration artist. I knew I was missing a lot: travel, surprises, new encounters…but the comfort zone I had was too manifested. And it took me a lot of effort to break out.
The life I had was not worth calling it life. Even I lived in a fancy part of a big fancy city, doing a beautiful creative job I love, surrounded by beautiful things I had collected, going to great places, enjoying urban life at it`s best, I was merely existing. The time flew and lost its quality of change, it was one big security continuum. It`s quite possible that many others crave exactly this, the predictability of a secure life and it`s routines, the reliability of a cozy home that`s waiting, to me this is not really life. It`s sitting out life by getting as little bothered as possible.
I do not have a cozy home now, I´m living with strangers in their household, helping them with different chores. My room, in the best case, is okay, never really nice (at least up to now) but I´m okay with it, for now. Those are only things, the circumstances.
What really bugs me is the many lies and promises that are never kept. The standards of Workaway are that you are working 4–5h a day for 4–5h a week. You get free food and accommodation in return. To my experience the hosts I had, let you work 7h a day and more hours. They want to maximally profit from your presence. They lie in other things too. A “non smoker household” turned out to be a day and night chain smoker household where everything stank and the host did not provide food because the filter cigarettes were using up the budget. Sure, you could write them a truthful feedback on Workaway, but they would get back on you writing that you are “lazy” or something alike, so no one would want to host you. Workaway does not really support workawayers with bad experiences. I wrote them a letter after Venice and they never responded.
The other thing is, especially if you are sensitive and “reading” the energies in the room, like I do, is constantly feeling the negativity and discomfort they have for having you in their home. One host actually hated me (Venice) but tried to hide it, because I was useful, but it was the big elephant in the room. Up to me avoiding to go to the kitchen, as the atmosphere was loaded and toxic. So I spent more time outside and buying my own food which was costly.
The food itself is an other topic. They say they provide it. But its often very weird, crap or un filling and nourishing, given that we do physical work outside. Or the food is just not provided and you have to buy it yourself…even for them. Right now, in the alternative “nuthouse”, a remote homestead, where I am staying on the country side of Rome, they are on weird diets like taking weeds from the backyard, calling it “wild broccoli” (it`s not!) it`s super un tasty and not nurturing. My workaway colleagues and I brought food into the house they never buy (out of ideological ideas they refuse certain foods) like: Canned tomatoes, cheeses, prosciutto, bananas…because we want to eat variety and tasty nourishing things. Our hosts are eating them secretly at night, the groceries are all miraculously gone the next day. Once my co workawayer and I baked tons of cookies and salty crackers, only to find that nothing was left in the next morning. Or they are upset that I was cooking a nurturing wintry rice pudding with sweet dried fruits, only to devour it overnight so almost nothing is left. They are exposing martyrdom and a disturbed personality with their various diets along with moodiness and nervous erratic behavior, staring at us eating bread with butter and cheese and jam for breakfast, while drinking as much coffee as we want (we paid for it too). It was never this clear to me, that people are really destroying themselves with food and their various ideas and claims around food and nutrition, especially when watching others enjoying the food that`s good for them. I want to tell them :”for Christ`s sake, eat what you love and what makes you feel good! especially in winter” but It`s obviously not my place to do so.
The other thing is, their personal drama that`s laid out too, like relationship drama, general unhappiness etc. I was giving a 2h relationship chart reading for the couple here, to help them to work out things, which has helped them, and they thanked me and asked me how much they owe me for it (expecting I would say “nothing, it`s for free”) which I did say. Only the day after they started petty discussions with me about why I want butter and real milk instead of “rice milk” -which is not milk. Prettiness is really written in capital letters in these experiences, also food envy. While I am actually very generous and nurturing, and so I my other 2 ladies here, who are staying with me. We are surprising each others with dried tomatoes, cheese, breads and chocolates to make the experience a bit more fulfilling. We are baking cakes from good groceries. None of us eats crap. We just eat good things without any nutrition dogma.
On the other hand I am noticing, that I am giving people much more than just the work they ask for, and I don`t mind. I know that my former self, the pre workaway one, would have avoided such relations and people like the pest. That`s why I was living and working alone for years, true to the motto “hell are other people”
They sometimes/often really are. But now I cannot run away, so I´m staying and sitting and living with it and it`s dynamics. Sometimes I really hate the person for it`s nasty behavior. But staying in the situation can reveal a new perspective a few days after, and it gives the person the possibility to repent and change, which often happens. By staying I can see the deeper reasons and their, also existing, good sides too. With only one exception: the Ogress in Venice. For her I wish that the karma bus will come for her. I´m not a saint, the experience she gave me was utterly evil and disgraceful. But I know that these experiences are rare. Most people are just normal people. Having to stay is the opposite of “I´m out of here you psycho!” and after all it´s what humans basically are: a mix of good and bad traits and behavior. Avoidance and isolation is not a solution. It´s what you get, there is no better humans. We as human community need to work with it and hopefully heal, instead of running of and beating each others noses bloody or other things humans do in conflicting situations.
So this also is a huge lesson for me.
An other lesson is: humiliation and not taking it personally. The kind of jobs my hosts saw me fit for had to do a lot with animal shit, manure, composting etc. I became an expert on this field ;)
Getting carried away with for once being the “master” with a helpless servant is a temptation many can`t resist to play out. Especially with those who are serial hosts, having abused working travelers for years. They tend to depersonalize the workawayer. It`s just an other idiot doing a job they avoid. This I felt especially in Venice.
Also I learned that I´m great with pets and that dogs and cats love me. It´s one of my biggest Workawayer joys.
In the last days I was busy digging tunnels to lay a pipe and to dig a hole to plant a tree. I never did that before, so I am really proud of myself. Not saying I want to do this for the rest of my days now, but I´m glad I did it. I also became an expert in fire wood and fire making.
It`s all about living outside the comfort zone, that`s where the real treasures are to be found.
my next station will be Umbria, the “green heart of Italy”
After that, in early spring, I might leave Italy again for a while.
